texts from last night

(415) 2:41 "I want u to fuck me hella bad"

Yeah I know. It's mean of me not to have sex with someone after that text message, but I have this huge crush on a girl, and it just so happens that she's from Philly/New York/some town in MA (I say this only to promote ambiguity, not like anyone would read this and figure out which one is the real city anyway). Unfortunately, the 415 area code doesn't correspond to those areas, so I gotta let this girl go. She's a cool person, so I hope she can find someone to replace me soon. Granted, I want to believe that she won't find someone with the same performance abilities as I have.

On a more important note, Alan Watt's Book on Zen is amazing. I'm a little less than halfway through, and it has truly reminded me of all the thoughts I have when I'm all alone. Just the positive side of them. Maybe if I think the bad stuff enough, it'll transform from (form from ha) a powerfully depressing experience to an amazingly liberating one.

Maybe I'll have courage today and approach that girl...